13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. 16 You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.—John 15:13-16
When I look back on all that God has brought me through, I remember when He removed certain friendships—including some with close family members—and replaced them with godly relationships.
For years, I longed for friends to spend time with, a break from my daily responsibilities as a wife and mother. I pictured friendships as women I could shop with, share my struggles with, and enjoy life alongside. But many of my past friendships left me feeling discouraged. Some friends drifted away, making me wonder if I had been a bad friend.
Looking back, I realize that I didn’t truly understand what it meant to have or be a friend. My friendships were built around drinking, partying, and venting about life. Over the years, the topics shifted, but the pattern remained the same—conversations filled with complaints about our children and husbands. Instead of uplifting one another, we reinforced each other’s pain, gossiping, and drowning our wounds in temporary escapes. I often left feeling discouraged, burdened by guilt and shame, wondering if I had shared too much—if I would become the next topic of gossip, or if these friends truly had my back. Some nights, I would go home not wanting to hang out anymore.
What I didn’t realize was that I had healing to do. My past experiences had distorted my view of friendship. I didn’t trust others, yet I longed to belong. In my search for acceptance, I became a people-pleaser, always doing what was expected of me or simply going along with the crowd. I was filled with insecurity and doubt, unsure of who I really was. I was a broken woman searching for friendship, purpose, and belonging.
18 After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. 2 From that day on Saul kept David with him and wouldn’t let him return home. 3 And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself. 4 Jonathan sealed the pact by taking off his robe and giving it to David, together with his tunic, sword, bow, and belt. —1 Samuel 18:1-4 (NLT)
God’s Word speaks of a different kind of friendship—one rooted in faith, loyalty, obedience, and love. We can have God as our eternal friend if we follow His guidance. As Jesus said, “If you love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15). He desires for us to share in His glory and sacrificed His life to make that possible. This is the essence of Jesus as our friend—He not only walks with us but also shows us, by His example, what true friendship is meant to be. As He healed me, He was also teaching me how to be a friend, leading me toward relationships that reflect His love, grace, and truth.
Throughout Scripture, we see examples of different kinds of friendships—Ruth and Naomi, David and Jonathan, and even Job and his friends. Initially, Job’s friends seemed supportive, sitting with him in silence for seven days. However, when they finally spoke, their words were filled with judgment rather than comfort. They accused him of wrongdoing, believing his suffering must be his own fault. Though they spoke about God, they lacked wisdom and compassion, and God ultimately rebuked them.
I found myself in a similar situation when God began removing certain friendships from my life, drawing me closer to Him as my true friend and the ultimate example of godly friendship. I met women who spoke about Jesus but carried deep wounds of their own, offering words that condemned rather than uplifted. Instead of encouragement, I often left feeling discouraged, questioning whether these friendships were truly aligned with God’s will. As I prayed for them and for our friendship, I realized God was asking me to walk away.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that God was leading me on a journey of healing. Part of that healing meant removing unhealthy friendships to make space for the ones He was preparing for me—friends who would walk with me in faith, challenge me to grow, and be in my life for a lifetime.
6 Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security. —Jeremiah 33:6
God is so good that as He heals our wounds, He also restores our view of people. My past left me distrustful, carrying deep friendship and trauma wounds that went undetected for years. But praise God—when we seek Him and ask for true friendship, He leads us on a path of healing, preparing us to be the kind of friend He desires us to be.
He has healed my soul from the past, and now I have godly friendships where we grow together. I can share my true struggles, but this time, instead of tearing each other down, we lift one another up, praying for our families and each other.
Friendships require growth and they aren’t always easy, especially when past wounds, trauma, and insecurities come into play. There will be challenges, but if a friendship is truly from God, you will grow and overcome them together. A godly friendship is not just about companionship—it’s about accountability, encouragement, and walking together in faith. In contrast, Jesus demonstrates perfect friendship—one that is patient, faithful, and sacrificial. As He heals our hearts, He also reshapes our understanding of friendship, guiding us toward relationships that uplift, encourage, and reflect His love.
If you find yourself in a season where God is removing people from your life, trust that He is making room for something greater. Surrender to His healing, allowing Him to restore your heart and prepare you for friendships that will strengthen your faith and help you grow in Him. In His perfect timing, He will send the right people—relationships that align with His plans and purposes for your life.
💜 GP
This is great, a good reminder of what it means to have true, godly and faithful friends. Thank you for being that kind of friend.